Earning Trust

For two decades leading engineering teams, I've seen methodologies come and go – Agile, Scrum, Kanban, the latest AI-driven project management tool. They all promise efficiency and performance. But I’ve come to a simple, often overlooked truth: none of it matters if you haven't built a foundation of trust.

Too often, we assume trust exists within a team, particularly among engineers who pride themselves on reliability and competence. “They're smart, they deliver good code, therefore I trust them,” is a common refrain. But that’s a dangerous assumption. True trust isn’t granted based on skill; it’s earned through consistent actions and genuine care. And it’s the single most important factor in building a high-performing, resilient engineering team.

Beyond Competence: What Does "Earned" Trust Actually Look Like?

Trust isn't a feeling; it's a calculation. Your team is constantly (often subconsciously) assessing: “Can I rely on this person? Do they have my back? Do they genuinely care about my success – not just the success of the project?”

Here's how that calculation plays out in practice, broken down into actionable behaviors:

• Vulnerability & Transparency: This is critical. As a leader, admitting mistakes, sharing challenges, and being open about uncertainties signals that you're human and creates psychological safety. I once completely misjudged a timeline on a critical feature. Instead of trying to hide it, I immediately brought it to the team, explained the miscalculation, and asked for their help in re-planning. The result wasn’t just a revised timeline, but a strengthened sense of collective ownership and a deeper understanding of the risks involved. I’ve found this approach consistently builds stronger team cohesion when challenges arise.
• Consistent Follow-Through: Promises are sacred. If you say you'll do something – review a pull request, advocate for a resource, provide feedback – do it. Small betrayals of trust erode confidence quickly.
• Active Listening & Empathy: Really hear what your team members are saying, both technically and personally. Understand their concerns, acknowledge their struggles, and demonstrate genuine empathy. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything, but it does mean you need to understand their perspective.
• Advocating for Your Team: Protect your team from unnecessary distractions, unrealistic demands, and political maneuvering. Be their champion, both internally and externally. I once had a product manager push for a feature with an impossible deadline. Instead of simply relaying the message, I pushed back, explaining the technical constraints and proposing a phased rollout. My team saw I was protecting them from being set up to fail.
• Giving Credit Where It’s Due: This sounds obvious, but it’s often overlooked. Publicly acknowledge and celebrate individual and team accomplishments. A simple "thank you" or a shout-out in a team meeting can go a long way.
• Supporting Growth & Development: Invest in your team's career development. Provide opportunities for learning, mentorship, and challenging assignments. Show them you care about their future, not just their current output.

Trust & Methodologies: The Order Matters

The reviewer of a book by Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, made a critical point – any methodology will work, if everyone is motivated by the benefit of others. That’s a powerful observation. You can implement the most sophisticated Agile framework, but if your team doesn’t trust you, or each other, it will fall flat.

Think of it this way: methodologies are the tools to build something great. Trust is the foundation that holds it all together. You need a solid foundation before you start building. Trying to impose a methodology on a team lacking trust is like building a house on sand.

Addressing Potential "Withdrawals" from Trust

Building trust isn’t just about depositing positive behaviors. It’s also about mitigating behaviors that can erode it. It's easy to fall into patterns that unintentionally damage team cohesion.

• Be Vigilant: Pay attention to team dynamics. Look for signs of conflict, resentment, or unhealthy competition.
• Address Issues Directly: Don't ignore toxic behavior. Address it privately and respectfully, but firmly. This can be difficult, but avoiding conflict only allows it to fester.
• Model Positive Behavior: Lead by example. Demonstrate integrity, humility, and genuine care.
• Foster a Culture of Psychological Safety: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable speaking up, sharing ideas, and taking risks.

A Simple Framework: The Trust Bank Account

I like to think of trust like a bank account. You make deposits through consistent, positive actions (vulnerability, follow-through, advocacy). You make withdrawals through broken promises, dishonesty, or self-serving behavior.

Constantly monitor your "trust balance" with each team member. Are you making more deposits than withdrawals? If not, you need to course-correct.

Earning trust isn’t a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process. It requires consistent effort, genuine care, and a commitment to building a team based on mutual respect and psychological safety. It’s not always easy, but it’s the most rewarding investment you can make as an engineering leader. And it's the foundation upon which all high-performing teams are built.

Take a moment this week to reflect on your "trust balance" with each team member. Identify one action you can take to make a deposit.

To gauge the level of trust within your team, consider these questions:

• Do team members readily share their opinions and concerns, even if they differ from yours?
• Do team members feel comfortable admitting mistakes without fear of blame?
• Do team members proactively offer help to each other?
• Do team members trust each other to deliver on their commitments?